pyewacket68's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- again and again Hmm, interesting how things change and never seem to improve. I am wondering now after all this time if Shayne was just nice to me in the beginning cause he was trying to reel me in...now he is himself. Well he's lacking in many areas...and I'm fed up now. I am training my mind to just let him go. I am really not even liking him much anymore. The very fact that he can be so cruel to me is alarming. All I did was freak out a bit, I lost my temper, and now he has to "punish" me for weeks. Well this time, it's going to be a suprise for him - big time....cause I'm not going to be the same girl anymore. I just need to find the person that I'm supposed to be with. I know it's definitely not him. I was trying to "make" him into the guy I wanted to be with, but he just isn't. I have to clean tonight and do laundry. I have this lady coming from down the street to look at the house after work, which is a pain in the arse cause I have a feeling she is just "checking things out" cause she bought a property up the street from me. If she was serious that would be something, but I don't think she really is. I've decided to stay put where I am. I know I was all gung-ho with Shayne to move in there, I just thought it would be better for us all in the long run, but now I realise I'm best staying on my own. I like being able to watch my own television, have my whole bed to myself, clean sinks and my organisation stays put. Cripes I thought that Mike was bad when I lived with him, Shayne is even worse. But they are very similar. I hate to admit it - but personally they are both as self-centred. I'm not sure why I've stuck it out this long. It is strange to me why I've even lasted this long with him. I have been perturbed by him from day one. I've not been in love with him nor have I really ever enjoyed his company. All he does is complain. I need someone happy, fun and energetic. Stressing the most on FUN! I keep hoping that he will call, but I know he won't. So I must let it go now. I'm sort of pissed off that he came across as being a certain way in the beginning and now he's not even that way at all. But I guess that is why most people "date" and then get out of it when it doesn't mesh. It's really hard finding someone compatible. 3:16 p.m. - 2007-04-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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